RYW SideStory: Gohan's Perspective by tobyaudax
by Shinsun
Summary: A while back my lovely critic and muse tobyaudax wrote a side-story for my fanfic Rock Your World. This takes place just before Chapter 18, Reunion. It's basically just Gohan's thoughts about the whole story up til then, it was also the inspiration for when Gohan was yelling at Goku in chapter 19. This story belongs to tobyaudax, i just wanted to share it because its THAT great.


Gohan's Perspective

RYW side-story by tobyaudax

He knew it was stupid, that it couldn't have had anything to do with what had happened. It was irrational and even a little immature. Nonetheless, Gohan couldn't help but blame theguitar for all his current troubles. It had seemed like such a good idea! Chi Chi was always saying she wished Gokuu would get a hobby, something to keep him around, but not underfoot. Something that wasn't as destructive and violent as fighting. She had confided in him, after the defeat of Cell, all those years ago. At some point, around the time Goten was born, Gohan had stopped being Chi Chi's son and became her confidant, her friend.

She still loved him the same, of course, and treated him much in the same manner, but she also spoke more freely about her relationship with Gokuu. She talked about her childhood and the years between meeting and then marrying her husband. The difference now was that she was honest, open. She didn't downplay her difficulties or even worry that some of the things she'd said could upset her son- things like occasionally wondering what her life would be like if she hadn't tracked Gokuu down and all but forced him to marry her. She laughed when she talked about it, the sound warm but with a hint of melancholy. She loved them all, she reminded Gohan. That was the thing about love- there is always room for more and there is no limit to the number of people you can care about.

Gohan sighed and gently closed the book. He'd only been staring at and through it for over an hour, lost in his thoughts. He stood and stretched, wandering out of Mr. Satan's expansive study and into the kitchen. The staff had all gone home for the evening, but Gohan knew his way around food. He had been helping his mother cook for more than seven years. As he warmed some soup over the stove and chewed on a dumpling, his mind wandered back to the guitar, his father and Vegeta. Gohan couldn't care less about the short Saiyan's sexual preference. He actually liked Vegeta; they'd gotten along well the few times he'd taken Goten to Capsule Corporation to play.

What bothered Gohan about the whole mess wasn't Vegeta. It wasn't the guitar, either. It was Gokuu. Gokuu had been the problem- the root of all problems- since Gohan turned four. He'd let Gohan be kidnapped and then gotten himself killed. He'd been late to fight Vegeta and Nappa and had inadvertently gotten Piccolo killed. …Though Gohan readily admitted he held the majority of the blame, there. But the fact remained that his father had a consistent track record of being late and not finishing what he'd started. Gohan had had to clean up his last mess and though Gokuu _did_ defeat Majin Buu, things had been very different ever since.

There hadn't been any threats since Buu, but Gokuu became distant. He at least stayed home more often, but something fundamental about him had changed. Chi Chi pretended not to notice, at first, falling back into the routines of a happy mother and wife. But as the months passed and Gokuu kept more and more to himself, Chi Chi had gone to her friend, therapist and son with her concerns. She was worried about him, she'd said. She thought something was wrong, that perhaps he'd gotten sick again. Gohan had assured her he was fine, that maybe he was simply bored. They shared a laugh, saying he should spend more time with Vegeta, since no one else seemed able to give Gokuu a good fight.

Gohan bent the handle on the pot of soup. If only they'd known, then. If only one of them had known what Gokuu was going to do. He sighed and moved the soup off the burner, turning the heat off. Heedless of the burn, Gohan carefully removed the dent in the pot's handle, then poured himself a large bowl. He wandered through the kitchen and dining area before settling on the plush sofa in the main living room. He sipped the hot _misoshiru_ and tried to go over events calmly. The guitar. It had happened before she'd fallen ill, it was the last time they'd spoken together, in private.

It was only a few months before Christmas and she wanted to get Gokuu something special. In years past, she'd buy him books and nice suits that he never read or wore. Later, she would sew him new gis and prepare extra special meals throughout the day. Christmas was important to the Son family because they didn't know when Gokuu's birthday was. No one wanted to pick a date at random or assign him a day that had prior significance. So they'd settled on making Christmas a kind of dual holiday. Chi Chi had called up his friends and even tried to get Bulma to let her talk to Vegeta. The Saiyan refused to speak into the receiver- Bulma had held it at arms' length and yelled at him through most of the conversation- he admitted that he didn't know what Gokuu liked to do, aside from fighting and eating.

"What else is there?" he'd asked, before snidely adding, "Besides fucking, of course." Which had earned him louder shrieks from Bulma and the sounds of heavy and breakable things being thrown before she grunted an apology to Chi Chi and hung up the phone. Gohan's faint smile turned into a grimace as other implications came to light. Was it possible they'd been together, even back then? He shook his head- Vegeta's pride and Gokuu's honour kept them loyal to their women. For as long as the woman was alive anyway…

The consensus was that Gokuu seemed to like music. No one knew what genre, specifically, just that they'd all caught him humming and even singing under his breath on multiple occasions. When Gohan reported back to Chi Chi with his findings they brainstormed what they could get him that would encourage or compliment such a broad interest. They eliminated things that would be messy to clean up once broken and things that would snap in his hands- piano, harp, upright bass, flute, trumpet- and had settled on a guitar. Chi Chi wanted to get him an acoustic number, but Gohan had insisted the wood would crumble in his father's grip. Instead, he'd traveled to Capsule Corps. and enlisted Bulma's aid in making a custom electric guitar. Something that would withstand Gokuu's considerable strength.

It was ready Christmas day and Gohan had had to use Mystic level to fly out and pick it up in time. He remembered the confused but pleased look on his father's face when he'd handed him the red and white guitar. He briefly explained how it had been made and pointed out the basics of the instrument, admitting with a laugh that he didn't know how to play, either. He smiled at the memory of watching Gokuu strum it a few times, then test each string. He took to the instrument quickly and with a fervor. Apparently fighting wasn't the only thing at which he naturally excelled. He was writing songs within a few weeks, playing melodies and singing softly late into the night.

Chi Chi had started to show signs of her illness a few months later. Gohan left school to stay home under the assumption that he'd be taking care of her. But he ended up spending a lot of his time just keeping her in bed. Gohan had honed his cooking skills during those months and Gokuu's distance from his family went unnoticed. He did stay home much more often and spent hours with Chi Chi, sometimes talking, sometimes playing songs for her. Gohan told himself things would be okay, that his parents were growing closer and that, when Chi Chi was better, they'd finally be a family, a real family. He never once entertained the notion that she wouldn't recover. It never occurred to him that she would die.

Things started to fall into place the day of Chi Chi's funeral. Gokuu was like a different person, stoic and square-jawed. He greeted everyone quietly, shook hands, accepted hugs and condolences. He was as collected as a mortician and his strength only served to infuriate Gohan. Where were his tears? Where was his father's sorrow at the loss of the woman who should have been the most important person in his life? Gokuu had been with her, when she passed, but Gohan didn't know what had transpired between them. He couldn't understand how his father's eyes were dry and his back straight when he couldn't remember what it was like to see clearly. When he was forced to slump under the crushing weight of his mother and friend's death. When it was a struggle to keep breathing.

How could his father even still be alive, with Chi Chi gone? Gohan couldn't fathom it. He alternated between trying to convince himself it was all a nightmare and he had to wake up and trying to figure out what was keeping Gokuu together. He wondered, not for the first time, if his father even loved her. He wondered if he'd only stayed (when he was alive) out of duty and marriage vows. Gohan flew through theories and, as the service ended and Chi Chi was lowered into the ground, couldn't come up with a concrete reason for Gokuu's strange behaviour. He even allowed that his father wasn't one to show his emotions, but this was _Chi Chi_. His wife and partner had died and he was acting like it was some formal hang out. Gohan half expected him to ask when they'd eat!

The only thing that made any sense was that Gokuu hadn't really loved Chi Chi. He was always leaving them, after all. He wanted to stay dead after being killed by Cell, spouting some nonsense about the world being safer with him out of it. Even if that were true- up until Buu, things _had_ been quiet- it was no reason to leave his son and pregnant wife alone. So. That had to be it. Gokuu didn't love Chi Chi, Gohan or Goten. He didn't even _know_ Goten! Was that why he had acted so strange, almost reserved, in the months since everyone had been wished back after Buu? How had no one else noticed?

He couldn't stand to look at Gokuu any longer. They exchanged one glance, at the end of the day, one look that Gohan hoped told him everything. He didn't bother to hide his anger, not anymore. He let his years of resentment, abandonment and bitterness well up in his eyes. With one steady glare, he tried to transmit everything he'd ever felt for the man who was his father in blood alone.

They didn't see each other for a long time after that. Gohan took care of Goten for a while, but once it became apparent Gokuu was done with them- retreating to his bedroom and barely leaving, even for meals- he reluctantly sent his little brother to stay with Bulma. He went back to school and threw himself into his studies- Chi Chi had wanted him to be a great scholar or doctor, so he would do his best to achieve her dream. He maintained top marks, checked in on Goten and bottled his anger towards Gokuu again.

Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer. He called Bulma and told her to come get his father. He told her what he knew of Gokuu's condition for however many months he'd quarantined himself. Bulma was appaled and angry with him for neglecting his own father and he didn't stop himself in time to keep from saying, "Why not? It's what he's done to me my whole life!". He didn't speak to Bulma for at least a week after that. He felt terrible for snapping at her. Maybe, if anyone could understand his father, she could. She was his oldest friend, after all. Gohan had visited her to apologise, but had ended up learning all kinds of terrible things, instead.

She told him about Gokuu's fever dreams and the things he said in his sleep. She mentioned that she and Vegeta had "broken up" a few years ago. She said that Vegeta had "carried a torch" for Gokuu for pretty much the entire time he'd known the other Saiyan. And she topped the whole, one-sided conversation off by letting Gohan know that both men had her blessing to get together. He didn't remember leaving or how he got back home. He just remembered suddenly finding himself at the kitchen table, with a half-constructed sandwich in front of him and the refrigerator door hanging open, on one hinge. That was it, then. Gokuu had been in love with Vegeta. Gohan didn't know for how long and didn't care. He recalled how Gokuu had said, all those years ago, that he would use his One Day on Earth pass to fight in the Budokai. He hadn't said anything about his family, just fighting. He just wanted to fight with Vegeta. He just wanted to see Vegeta again.

Or maybe the Fusion had caused them to grow closer. Gohan didn't know what happened when two people became one- Goten's accounts of his and Trunks' fusion dance were confusing- but it could possibly have shown the two Saiyans things about themselves they hadn't known. Whatever the case, the whole situation boiled down to Gokuu not loving Chi Chi and leaving his two children to be with someone else. No, wait. Goten had gone with him, was staying with him again. Goten didn't know what his father was like, not really. He had only just met Gokuu, so didn't know about the years-long absences or the unwillingness to spend any time together that wasn't sparring or fishing.

So Gokuu had simply reverted to type and abandoned his first son. Again and as usual. Gohan wished he wasn't surprised. He also wished it didn't still hurt so bad. Maybe, Gokuu had loved Chi Chi. Maybe he cared about everyone… except Gohan.


End file.
